Middle of the night

I can't sleep. Big surprise, I'm almost 35 weeks pregnant, show me a pregnant woman who sleeps soundly, and I'll be looking for her sleeping pills. Which are, by the way, sometimes allowed. In the hospital, they gave me Ambien, I haven't slept that well in months! It was great, so good I didn't ask for a prescription. I have a deep seated fear of addiction and anything that lets me sleep that well should not be in my medicine cabinet. Pills are actually part of the problem tonight. I had some pretty good contractions, regular for awhile today. So I took the "stop 'em" pill, which works, but also makes me very jittery. My doctor recommends I take them with Benadryl, I did this afternoon and slept for a couple hours. I woke up not jittery, but now I can't sleep.

I've been tossing and turning, not easy at 35 weeks, but manageable. As always, I'm over thinking things. Beyond the whole having a baby (OMG!), money woes, and my mom having cancer, I've got more drama. Well, little drama compared to what's been going on. By the way, last Saturday, my dad was held up at gunpoint. What does it say about our lives that being held up is a side story? He is fine, he was at a friend's poker game, my dad is a really good poker player, and these guys showed up and robbed them all. Dad is playing down the whole thing, treating it like anecdote already. He lost some money, but he is fine. And really what's money compared to finding out the the chemo worked and his wife is going to make it? Well, probably make it, those doctors don't exactly hand out promises.

Back to my drama, I got an e-mail from a friend at school. She is taking a position at the high school and she thinks I would be a "perfect fit" for her position at the middle school, teaching 8th grade language arts. I received another e-mail from the school librarian encouraging me to take the position. I think I would just have to tell my principal I'm interested and the job would be mine, unless another teacher who has been with the district longer wants it.

I am torn. I love teaching the one section of 8th grade language arts I currently teach, but do I want to teach it all day long? I would go from 5 different classes with no more than 8 students to teaching the same, or very similar classes, 5 times every day with 20 some odd kids in each class. And they are 8th graders, so I do mean odd! Plus it is a Lit/Comp class. I would have to teach research papers and grammar.

BUT, and this is a huge one, I wouldn't have to teach math. No math. It's been okay, but the fact that I teach 7th grade math is hugely ironic. I barely passed 7th grade math. Now my loving and devoted sister, AJ, says that the fact I had "problems" with math myself makes me uniquely qualified to understand my students who struggle. I think she has a point, but I wouldn't have to teach math at all. No more "Please excuse my dear aunt Susan," or multiplying mixed numbers, or worrying that I am screwing my math students more up than they were to begin with. No more blank looks during fifth period. Well, I guess I can't guarantee no more blank looks, but I am much better at engaging students in reading than in math. I would still teach To Kill a Mockingbird. But it would be starting over again, but not completely since I've taught one section of 8th grade language arts for two years. And the job would have more security than I've had for awhile. There is only one 8th grade language arts teacher, they already eliminated the separate reading teacher so they can't get rid of the language arts position, whereas I feel like my current position is always the next on the chopping block.

So there's the job thing, and then there's the fact I'm going to be having a baby sometime in the next month, holy crap! All things considered, I'd love to simply quit my job and stay home with Little Miss next year. Or quit the math section and continue teaching my three reading groups. But the kiddos would like to continue eating regularly so I guess I'll need to keep working.