One day at a time

We buried my mother today. It was a beautiful service, people always say that, but it really was. AJ, the baby of the family gave the eulogy. She did such an amazing job. My sil sang "One Day at a Time", it was lovely. Peg put together a photo montage, it started with "Memories are made of This", sung by Dean Martin showing pictures of my mom and dad. There weren't many dry eyes in the church.

This has been an awful couple months, but one of the few really bright spots of the last couple months (other than impending arrival of Little Miss) has been watching my parents' marriage. I never doubted that my parents loved each other. They had some bad times, I remember some and heard about others, but my parents had a good marriage, I knew that. But watching them over the last couple months has been a priviledge. That last conversation I had with my mother, she started with her concerns about my dad, how would he do without her. Dad had gone home to mow the lawn, his favorite Zen activity. When he returned to the hospital, Dad moved his chair as close as he could to Mom's bed. He put his hand on hers. He has been so gentle and concerned about her. He was at the hospital everyday.

I'm doing okay, really I am, right now. It was a rough day, I've cried on and off, but not as much as I thought I would. And when I did cry, it was at really odd times, I think I cried the hardest this morning when I was ironing Jim's shirt. I know I'm not done greaving or anything, I know it will hit me hard at different times. But tonight I feel okay. I'm so glad I didn't go into labor before the funeral.