I've been reading and hearing a lot lately about "mindfulness" or meditation. I've tried meditating, I even went to a lesson on meditation with the youth group at church a couple years ago. I'm not very good at it. I know you are not suppose to say that. I know you are suppose to recognize your "monkey brain" and pull back to your breathing or something like that. I am all monkey brain all over the place, planning supper, wondering what other people are thinking and wanting to itch my nose. But by the fourth time this weekend I heard something about being present in the moment, I wanted to say to God, "Okay, I hear you! I'll try!"
So the other day I stopped by church and sat in the empty sanctuary. The minister invited us to use the space for listening to God. I decided that sounded like a good idea as it's really hard for me to just sit at home, there are dishes to wash and laundry to fold there. At church I could sit without feeling *too* guilty about it. I actually journaled while I sat there because just sitting was too scary. But still I figured it was a move towards it. It was nice, it was relaxing. I didn't yell at my kids much that night. Maybe it helped.
When Jon was a baby, I bought a lullaby cd (I know, monkey brain alert! I promise I will bring it all together). I picked it up in Borders to mock it, it is a Martha Stewart lullaby cd. I looked at it already to be all "really Martha, you do cds now?" Then I noticed the first song was Eva Cassidy singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," hmmm love the singer and love the song. Another track was "Closer to You" sung by Bare Naked Ladies, hmmm. So I bought it and we've loved it ever since. 
Yesterday was a snow day, (seriously, it's all going to come together!) I spent most of the day cleaning and doing laundry. I almost caught up with everything for once.
Then it was nap time for Hope. I was rocking her in her room with the "Sleepy time" cd on and suddenly, I was totally in the moment. The song "Take my Breath Away," was playing and Hope was looking at me with those big eyes and the moment seemed to expand and fold into it's self. It was beautiful.
