A day

I have a pot of chili on the stove and brownies in the oven. My sister is waiting with her husband. I am yelling at my children. My sister is preparing to meet her husband's oldest daughter for the first time. I am feeling my child move inside of me. My sister is watching her husband die.

I am having a baby and my sister has pancreatic cancer. For a while I couldn't talk about the one without talking about the other. I had my first ob appointment the same day she met with the surgeon for the first time. I was, what 7 weeks pregnant or so and had planned on not telling people until I was at least in the second trimester.

I am 34 years old and am older than I thought I'd be when I had my last baby. My sister is 43 and too young to have cancer or be a widow.