The Eve of Christmas Eve

Happy almost Christmas Eve! We are traveling on Christmas Day again (well, that's the plan anyway. It is snowing pretty hard right now so we will see.) The guys opened most their gifts from us on Saturday. Hope did too, she loves her Leapster Violet, but she obviously doesn't get it yet. I didn't want them to open the gifts quite so early, but I haven't been up to fighting about much lately which is also why we are flying out Christmas Day. The guys convinced Jim to let them open their gifts last week when Grandma Z came over with her gifts. We are all going to be together in NC, but why bring all the gifts out there to open and then haul them back? Makes no sense, so last year and this year we had a family Christmas with Grandma Nancy and then another with the rest of the fam in NC. The guys really wanted to open their gifts from us that day so they could play with them before we left. And I gave in.

My mom's birthday was Christmas Day, have I ever mentioned that? My birthday is the 18th of December, exactly a week before Mom's. When I was a kid, Mom did a good job of recognizing my birthday as equally as she did everyone else's. JJ's birthday is December 27, I think she would say the same thing. Not that birthdays were huge at our house. We would get a gift or two, a birthday cake, and the day off from any chores. I remember having friends over night in the middle of the summer since it never worked to have them overnight in December. I really don't remember feeling short shifted as a kid. As an adult, it's been a little different since there is always some commitment I HAVE to attend, Christmas pageant, extended family celebration, work party, always something.

Last year was different though. Jim and the guys had already flown to NC. I couldn't leave yet because my contract does not allow me to take personal days before a holiday break. So I spent a couple days alone in my house. Just me and Hope and she was still inside, I was 16 weeks or so pregnant. I adore my family, but a couple of days alone in my house was wonderful! I actually had my grades turned in early (first and only time that has happened). My birthday was the last day of school before break. I watched movies with my students; some gave me gifts. I left work at noon to meet Mom and Dad at Mom's favorite Chinese restaurant here in town. Then Dad dropped Mom and me off at my doctor's office. He did some Christmas shopping at Wal-mart while Mom went to my regular check up with me. It was just one of those quick check ins, but Mom got to hear the baby's heartbeat. She got a kick out of that, as far as I know, Hope is the only grandchild whose heartbeat she heard in vitro.

The Mom and Dad drove me to the city to the north and dropped me off at the airport. I started a new book on the flight, I flew all alone. My hubby picked me up at the NC airport and I got to see my guys before going to bed.

It was probably my best "adult" birthday. It was also the last "normal" day I spent with my mom.

A day for me

I took Thursday off from work just because I needed a day. I felt like I was drowning both at home and at work and I just... needed...a...day. I felt a bit guilty. Cali is not doing well (another post I can't even think of starting right now) and I will definitely be going out to California at least once if not twice in the next couple months and I feel bad just taking a random day off, but I needed it.

It was a lovely day. I had to get up to take the guys to school and Hope to daycare. Yes, I was home and I took Hope to daycare. As I said, I needed a day. I'm glad I had to get up to take them, it would have been easy to sleep the day away. I cleaned my kitchen, cleared off counters that haven't seen sunlight in a loonngg time. Didn't get into the cupboards, maybe next time. My MIL came over and we did some on line shopping. Up to that point, I'd bought one thing for Christmas.
I got to drink coffee and watch The View. I did some organizing, some laundry, and talked to my sister Jill while I was doing it. I picked up the kiddos early and we went to the biggish city to the south and had their picture taken with Santa. And we did some shopping together, always an adventure. The guys had appointments with JJ, who happens to be their occupational therapist. Afterwords we went the her house. Her son G and Joey are bestest friends, I think Joe was more excited to have supper at their house than he was about seeing Santa.

One area I organized was my recipe drawer. You have one of those right? When I find a recipe I like, I tear it out of the magazine, or whatever, and through it in the drawer. I decided I wanted to store something else in the current recipe drawer. If I was going to empty the drawer, I may as well organize it. So I filled a 3 ring binder with page protectors and I started sorting!

Besides the magazine recipes, there were some printed from on-line sources, and some handwritten. Mostly written in my quick scrawl, but some were in my mom's neat cursive. She had really beautiful handwriting. Mine can be neat if I take the time, but Mom's was always lovely. She didn't write often, I think the fact that several of her daughters were English majors was bewildering to her. She was proud of us, but it was not something she could imagine doing. So finding the recipe cards touched my heart.

I also found some cookie cutters she'd given me. In a plastic bag, with the two old tin cookie cutters, was a note. "Gina, These cookie cutters were my REAL mothers. I'd like you to have them. Love Mom" Mom's mother died when Mom was 16. Grandpa remarried a month after my parents were married. Grandma Nancy was the only grandmother I knew on that side, but we all knew she was Mom's step mother. As far as I ever knew, they got along great. But when Mom talked about her mother, she always put an emphasis on "real". So when she gave me the cutters, her capitalization amused me. Now it feels like her voice.

Mom baked a lot. I guess she enjoyed it, although I think it was more about enjoying the eating part. When I was growing up, we almost always had some kind of baked good in the house, chocolate chip cookies, brownies, no egg chocolate cake, or some such thing. I thought everyone did. Mom didn't get real fancy with her baking, some time she frosted the brownies, but often not. I only remember decorating cookies together a time or two when I was growing up. Maybe she did it more with the older kids. She was pretty busy after the last four were born in less than four years. I think she also baked when we were all at home because her simple brownies and cookies were cheaper than snacks at the store. We had a sweet for bedtime snack almost every night growing up.

As we got older, she still baked, although not as often. But if she came to my house to care for my kiddos she almost always baked with them. She didn't bake with me often growing up. I remember when Mom decided it was time for me to learn to bake. She got all the ingredients out, showed me where the measuring utensils were, handed me the recipe, and left the room. She told me to holler if I needed help, but it she stayed in the room she would end up taking over for me. Mom knew her strengths, and teaching baking wasn't one of them. Nor was teaching driving, but that's a story for another time.

I fancy myself to be a domestic goddess. I'm not, but I fancy myself to be. I will go months without touching my Kitchen Aid mixer, except to make my much loved pizza dough. But then occasional I will go crazy with the baking. I always make homemade cinnamon rolls on snow days. Again, Mom was a bit bemused about my desire for from scratch deserts. Last December I was planning how to make cinnamon rolls for the family at our Christmas gathering and Mom responded with, "You can just buy those you know!" Man I miss that woman!